D'espairsRay Live Report

I attended the D'espairsRay live in Hamburg, Germany on July 21st with a friend of mine. We left Berlin at 8:00am which was quite early, but this was a cheaper way to get there.

Both of us didn't want to spend the whole day in front of the venue so we met up with some friends of my friend, checking out the area around the venue but leaving again for some time to get something to eat and just have fun.

We returned around 5:00pm where I met another one of my friends who had gotten there later than us and we sat down to talk. Again and again some people came over asking what was up this day because of our looks. Some were looking quite normal, others were styled very much. Different styles could be seen. A usual thing for a fan but not for people passing by. *laughs*

The weather was great, not too hot but sunshine most of the time, at least for the daytime.

...

At 6:30pm it seemed like it was starting to rain so some of us decided to go inside. The venue reminded me of what a small center and entrance would look like from inside. Wasn't much space left anymore since many already had gotten inside before but we didn't want to stand inside a crowd, knowing the live had been sold-out.

What I really liked was that the checkroom was before the entrance part so we could do this before and no one wanted to check the content of my huge filled bag. Usually I don't give it away but this time I decided on this which was good. Everyone was supposed to do so. Later I knew why. And I'm glad it was organized this way even though the handling failed a bit.

When we finally entered the hall, which actually is a club, my mood got worse and worse with every minute that went by.

 It was so crowded even though there still were so many people behind us.

The 「Knust」 reminded me of the 「Docks」 which I had been to some years ago. Both are clubs, and have an upstairs part.

While standing in the back I first realized the sound mixing part had been placed in one corner, so this meant no barrier to cling to for me. Very bad point, I usually stand behind it, there's space in that back part at most of the lives I have been to. Another thing was the floor seemed to slope in the back which is 'really great' when you're not a giant.

But anyway in the end we decided to stay as far in the back as possible.

It was hot; I was in a very bad mood.

No barrier.
No rocking. (Not the way I'm used to because of my bad balance)
No sight.

When D'espairsRay entered the stage I didn't see anything.
I hadn't seen anything before so how should I when everyone was raising their arms!

I again and again changed places when some people came out and there was some space where I could more or less see a bit.

I could see HIZUMI during 「Lizard」 for the first time and it was 「REDEEMER」 or 「Trickst☆r」 when it was the same about ZERO seeing this adorable smile on his face. It made my heart overflow with love and I forgot about anything that had gotten me down. Just this one moment. I knew I could enjoy that live no matter if I saw him again or not (actually anyone of them even though I'd liked to see each of them at least once).
I did which made me happier.

But most of the time I was just dancing and head banging.
I ended up close to the sound mixing part where I could get a hold so it was okay.

Before this they played 「Marry of the blood」which was one of the most intense songs of the evening. I never had felt the bass that much.

There was only the bass and me for some time. Nothing else.
Feeling the sound vibrating inside, really intense but not that much it gets annoying because you start to feel sick.
Perfectly done!

That's something a guitar can't do to me. Not like a bass but I think that's because of the tone pitches of the different instruments. A bass drum can also.

Karyu and ZERO had like a battle, one of them starting a solo, then stopping, then other would start. Stop, then the first one again. Like three times or so.
I couldn't see anything again, but within the sound mixing part there was a little TV and I could see it there. Better than nothing. Even though it showed the whole stage.

I was so grateful they played 「PARADOX 5」, that song felt so special at the live. I already loved it from the first time I listened to it, it's quite different, most compared to those mainstream songs they had released before and I tend to fall for such songs. But experiencing them live is completely different.

「Garnet」 followed which almost made me scream because it's a song I still remember from their live in November 2006 and one of the first ones I ever listened to. One of those that made me love this band.

The most intense and most hard moment was when 「Screen」 started.
I had hoped for it. Even though I knew from the beginning it only would be the album edit version. But anyway, they played it.

I stood there with closed eyes, crying, and so many pictures in my head.

「Bullet」 followed, a perfect setlist, getting the mood up by simply rocking. ^-^

This time the encore was only two songs but when they came out again TSUKASA had a small flute with him and played a lovely melody before he moved on to his drumset.

During the last song before the break one girl I had talked to before the live (she's only bit taller than me) got me back a bit more right next to the entrance for the sound mixing part and showed me a turned upside down beer crate she had gotten from the staff. So I spent some time up there.

Before they started with the last songs HIZUMI held a sheet of paper in his hands and started to say few sentences in German, followed by thunderous applause. Next one was Karyu who failed. LoL He started again, failed again.
Like three or four times, but it was so cute. The expression on his face, apologetic, embarrassed. But he didn't give up. It was pure love.

And I could see everything thanks to the beer crate. *____*

They started playing again and I couldn't remain up there, I needed to move, it was....

「Forbidden」!!!!

One of the songs I never forgot since November 2006.

I liked the song before but back then I started to completely fall for it.
I was so happy and grateful they also played this one.

I missed 「R.E.M-冬の幻聴-」 (R.E.M-Fuyu no genshou-) and also some others but it didn't matter.

Last one was 「Mirror」.

I was so sweaty, every piece of my clothing was soaked, even my hair was.
I never experienced anything like this, I wore a tank top but already after half an hour or an hour I realized my shoulders were sweaty. O.O
So you can imagine how it was after two hours of pure rock.

We got outside quite quickly but we still needed to wait some time to get our bags back.

I can't really put into words what I felt this evening and what I still feel when I think back. I remember it was the same almost three years ago, it's like some magic that can be held in one's hands, that can't be put into words, it's something that must be felt, that must be experienced.

I'm just so grateful I had the chance to go there and feel this.